No One Said It Would Be Easy (Part Deux)

Yesterday's post was about me trying to navigate through my feelings of disappointment (and anger, if I'm perfectly honest) over my own laziness and loss of motivation/inspiration when it came to this journey I'm taking toward...self-improvement, I guess?  It was about me trying to understand that -- contrary to my own instant-gratification-perfection-seeking-ideas -- it's okay if this journey takes me a little more time than I would have liked, and it's okay if I experience some set-backs.  It was about cutting myself some slack, which is probably something we all could do for ourselves a little more often, don't you think?

Anyway, so after writing this post yesterday, I set about trying to identify things in my life that would re-inspire and re-motivate me to pick myself up again after 2 weeks of desolation and get started once more.  What were some of the things I could turn to or do that would inject some much needed omph back into my life when I find myself in the middle of those days when I just don't want to participate in anything unless it includes sitting under a pile of really comfy blankets on my couch wearing my favorite sweats, eating my favorite foods and watching some probably crappy TV?  Here's what I came up with (and I would love, love, love any more ideas or suggestions!):

Talking to inspirational peeps: Yesterday was one of those interesting days where it's confirmed that things happen in their own time for very specific reasons.  I mean, there I was trying to find things in my life that inspire me and all of a sudden I have a phone date with one of my closest friends who also happens to be one of the few real-life people that never fails to be inspirational for me in some way, shape or form.  (This is noteworthy because she and I talk maybe once every few months and yesterday's call was sort of random.)  This girl is beautiful in so many ways, but the way in which she inspires and motivates me most is in her love of the outdoors and her active lifestyle.  When Nate and I visited her and her boyfriend in Denver last summer, I was continuously struck by how healthy and active and open her life was.  They walk or bike everywhere, they hike a lot, the mountains are like, right there at all times, they eat well and they have this happy, full life without having to spend thousands of dollars on it (she's admirably frugal too).  And every time I talk to her or see her, I'm reminded of how much more effort I want to put into being healthier and more active and much, much more in touch with the outdoors.  These are things I want, things I love and she's an example of making those things a priority. 

Nerding out on inspirational reads: The thing you need to realize about me is that I'm a student at heart.  I love learning and reading and thinking.  When I want to figure out how to do something, I will almost always find a book on the subject that I can devour.  So it's no surprise really that, when I want to up the ante on inspiration, I would head straight for those stacks and grab books like Tracy Kidder's Mountains Beyond Mountains.  More recently though, I've been into reading self-help/nonfiction books, blogs, old entrees in my journal, and even Twitter and Facebook (particularly the updates from former high school classmates that now make me so thankful for the choices I made -- and want to continue making -- in my life).  Some of those reads include: Stratejoy (obviously...that site is like this never-ending well of motivation, camaraderie and support), Ramit Sethi's I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Mark Bittman's Food Matters, Women's Health Magazine, Lauren Conrad Style (because not everything has to be super serious.  No judging.) and much, much more.  If you have any suggestions for some added reading (fiction too), please let me know!  I'm always looking for something new to check out! 

Trading in my melancholy music for some inspiration:  Okay, so I'm not giving up my mellow fav's wholesale, but I do think there's something to be said about music affecting a person's moods.  And call me crazy, but I don't think I'm going to feel like getting out of my cozy nest of a couch and making moves while listening to Band of Horses (though they're good for practically everything else.  I <3 you, BoH.).  So I created a "pick me up" playlist which, while it admittedly destroys any street or indie cred I might have ever hoped to possess, seriously does make me smile.  It's not as upbeat as you may think (that's reserved for my "dance party at my desk" playlist), but every song makes me feel either: A) lighthearted, B) grateful, C) motivated, or D) calm and relaxed without being dejected.  Overall, it's a pretty good mix of pop, folk, country and a tiny bit of rock and church.  I've been listening to it a lot in order to get my ass moving some things like journaling regularly, reaching out to friends and making plans, anything.  Here's a little sampling of what this playlist looks like (click on the image for a closer look):

What inspires you?

A Healthy Ambition: The Work-Out Mix

I can't work out without music.  It may actually be some weird sort of cosmic impossibility.  And what I listen to doesn't have to fall into a certain category of songs, but I don't like when they're super predictable either (i.e. "Eye of the Tiger" is getting nowhere near my playlist for many, many reasons).  The music just has to be loud and high-octane, and I have to be able to think over it or about it.  Like daydreaming on car rides, I apparently tend to do my best thinking on the elliptical or treadmill when I can just stare off into space without having to worry about crashing into anything or anyone.

I've spent many hours at the gym recently listening to Lady Gaga, The Maine, Eminem and The Cab.

So while this playlist is under constant revision and construction, I thought I'd share it's current incarnation with you.  I'd love to hear what makes up your current work out mix -- maybe I'll borrow some songs and add them to mine!

friday feature: brooke fraser

i know that i've written about brooke fraser before, but i've really been obsessed with her music lately and have had it on repeat, so you've got to bear with me.

the first time i listened to brooke fraser, i'm pretty sure i was actually in new zealand (she's a kiwi).  we were living in the international house at the university of auckland, and i remember walking into the lounge and hearing this really nice song playing.  i walked over to the tv where some friends were watching music videos, and i see this great video.  there's candle-light and this woman playing the piano, and it's all just very romantic, you know?  well, at that point N. and i had just started dating so everything sort of seemed romantic to me at the time, but still.

anyway, this song ended up being "arithmetic" by brooke fraser, and i ended up buying the entire album and really loving her music.  she's since come out with a newer album called "albertine," and it's absolutely amazing.  from a christian standpoint, you really couldn't ask for more since it's really inspirational but not overly preachy, and from a singer/songwriter fan's standpoint, the music (from piano to guitar to lyrics) is wonderful as well -- calming and thoughtful without being depressing.

i also know that, with this album, there's a particular humanitarian aspect that you hear come through in the song for which the album is named.  as a supporter of world vision child sponsorship, "albertine" is named for the orphan brooke met in rwanda, who lost both her parents in the rwandan genocide.  you can read a little bit more about it on her website.

i guess this music just inspires me to 1) be a better person, 2) be a better christian, and 3) be better at these things by...being more present in the world, more helpful, more understanding.  more of the things we say we all want to be, but usually don't see through.

brooke's currently in studio working on another album, and i can't wait until she goes back on tour.  until then, here are some songs to keep you (and me) looking forward:

friday feature: playlist love

do you have someone in your life that you consistently turn to when you need new music?  someone who knows your music tastes so well that if you were to just tell them, "i need some new music and i'm in a [insert emotion here] mood," they'd know exactly what to send you?  K. over at the artist in the ambulance is that person for me.  since high school, whenever i've needed music to fit an occasion, or to be the background to a book i'm reading or a problem i'm going through, she's always known what to suggest, from sarah mclachlan to brand new to city and colour to lydia.  (most recently, i was in a very hipster mood, so she sent me a bunch of music i have yet to organize in a playlist, but once i do i'll post it).

yes, i suppose it helps that she works in the music industry, but she's generally just one of those people who love music.  and i'm not talking about the kind of love that most people have for music, or even the kind of love that i have for music (which may actually be a bit more personal than the average person).  music is like life to her.  i couldn't imagine her without it.  i don't think she could imagine her without it.

it also helps that she's not pretentious about it, either.  she'll listen to anything from bands i've definitely never heard of, to lady gaga and miley cyrus.  and for me that makes her all the more legit.  because music snobs kind of suck most of the time.

so to finish out what was started over a year ago when she began writing a twilight playlist (maybe because i begged her?  i don't remember the specifics), i wanted to post her latest playlist for breaking dawn.

**go here to get the playlists for twilight, new moon, and eclipse**

- pheonix - 1901 (getting the new car and telling everyone about the engagement)
- the temper trap - sweet disposition (segue to the night before the wedding)
- band of horses - is there a ghost (story/nightmare about the immortal children)
- the shins - the past and pending (the wedding)
- city and colour - sam malone (dance with jake)
- emanuel - make tonight (honeymoon)
- kings of leon - closer (more honeymoon)
- brand new - noro (bella and edward realize she's pregnant)

- city and colour - like knives (jake finds out about the pregnancy and edward tries to bargain with him)
- tv on the radio - wolf like me (wolfpack debates and splits up)
- underoath - the created void (jake's miserable around bella and leaves, and edward begins hearing nessie)
- interpol - pioneer to the falls (jacob's alone and realizes he needs to go back)
- 30 seconds to mars - the kill (bella goes into labor)

 - alberta cross - the thief and the heartbreaker (bella's death)
- coldplay - don't panic (introducing the new and improved vamp bella)
- far-less - to live (bella's first hunt)
- copeland - no one really wins (jake has imprinted on nessie)
- fair - blurry eyed (bella gets to hold her baby)
- death cab for cutie - summer skin (edward...and the cottage)
- deas vail - sunlight (bella and the cullens are all glittery, and she's finally happy)
- jack's mannequin - the resolution (things are happy, but still uneasy)
- the receiving end of sirens - wanderers (alice's vision, the volturi are coming)
- the juliana theory - do you believe me? (the gathering of witnesses and allies)
- doves - reprise (waiting for the volturi)
- bush - machinehead (the confrontation)
- radiohead - lucky (alice's return)
- snow patrol - same (our happy ending!)

my music makes my sister want to die

i grew up listening to hawaiian and local music which, while it doesn't have the same sound, has the same overall feel of country music.  they both have the same sort of family values, don't be disrespectful to women and your elders, i'll take my country over your city any day of the week, style.  so naturally, i also grew up listening to country music, thanks to my mother who was going through her CMT phase when i was going through my i-refuse-to-go-to-pre-school phase.  the first songs i remembered learning by heart include garth brooks's "friends in low places," and various songs by kapena, the ka'au crater boys, and robi kahakalau (who still has one of the prettiest voices i've ever heard).  to this day, i'm still a huge fan.

but when i went away to boarding school, my music preferences expanded to make room for teenage rebellion, angst, heartache, and ambition.  of course i went through my obligatory hip-hop schooling, during which i was introduced to the likes of 2pac, biggie, and yes, mark morrison ("return of the mack," anyone?  you know you listened to it too...).  but i found my level ground when i was in the 8th grade, and i began listening to o'ahu's alternative music stations.  there, i met my thirteen year old heart's soulmates.  bush.  live.  green day.  no doubt.  foo fighters.  everclear.  oasis. (i particularly remember falling asleep to "don't look back in anger").  blur.  i could go on and on and on...

and this genre has remained my go-to pretty steadily throughout the years, with the additions of singer-songwriter, folk, some punk along the way, classic rock, 90's rock, and what i like to call chick rock.

and then one day my older sister, A. (who's a fan of reggae, country and mainstream hip-hop), told me i couldn't choose a radio station in her car because all i listened to was, and i quote, "depressing music that makes you want to die."


...?...


i'm sorry, what?  my music makes you want to die?  i admit it, okay, i like emo, but that doesn't mean i'm the type to sit in a dark room, write poetry and cry all night long.  i just like music that makes you calm and contemplative, and yes, maybe a shade melancholy.  it's better than being obsessed with music that makes you horny and/or violent.  but ever since she told me that, i can't help but take a closer look at my music choices every time i purchase a CD, or make a pandora playlist, or put a song on repeat for the third of fourth time.  not that i think anything would be wrong with me even if i did like depressing music, but i think i just like music that makes you feel something at least.  again, other than horny or violent.

anyhow, this all came up because i'm working on creating a fall/winter playlist at the moment, and i just finished going through the first batch of songs to weedle them down.  yes, they are slow.  yes, they tend to evoke a less than uppity mood when listened too.  but just because they don't make you want to get up and dance around half naked like britney spears doesn't mean they're sad songs!  they just have a very fall-y feel to me, that's all.

none of my pink, kelly clarkson, marie digby, taylor swift or lady gaga songs fit the profile.

(click to see it larger)

music as promised

because of finals and The Big Move, and family in town and the start of barbri, i wasn't able to make good on my promise to put up the eclipse playlist earlier. i actually didn't even get it from K. until this week because things have been so hectic (i've had no routine, and therefore have only been online once in a great while).

but with no further ado, here is the awesomeness that is another K. playlist, this time for eclipse:

- as tall as lions: where do i stand (jacob writing letters)
- athlete: tourist (realizing highschool is almost over, trip to FL)
- city & colour: what makes a man? (visiting jake, arguing over edward)
- the honorary title: everything i once had (rosalie)
- anberlin: dismantle.repair (acoustic) (jacob, my jacob)
- mute math: you are mine (reconciliation)
- the snake, the cross, the crown: hot anger, soon cold (things missing)
- mewithoutyou: world am i! (and shadow) (bonfire with the pack)
- biffy clyro: love has a diameter (graduation, persuasion)
- frou frou: breathe in (bride to be)
- cursive: the recluse (jasper)
- far-less: surprise funeral (for the charmed) (they may not all survive)
- city & colour: day old hate (watching jacob sleep)
- death cab for cutie: we looked like giants (graduation)
- silverchair: world upon your shoulders (training)
- snow patrol: open your eyes (engagement)
- lydia: ...ha yeah it got pretty bad (camping in the snow)
- alexisonfire: you burn first (the fight)
- bon iver: the wolves (act I and II) (jacob recovering)
- death cab for cutie: translatlanticism (bella makes her decisions)
- barcelona: please don't go (jake)

my favorites are probably obvious: death cab, city & colour, barcelona, lydia. it's funny how i was pretty territorial about songs - i didn't want my favorites to be used on the jake storyline. i got over it, 1) because the songs fit, and 2) because of the preview (lol). what can i say, maybe i am shallow after all? :)

because i haven't done a twilight post in a while

here are some bullets for ya:

• got the dvd last week. special features are all right, and seem better when you can kill flight time by watching them on the plane. i've also decided that the best scene in the movie is when they're playing iron & wine at the prom.
• watching the dvd made me want to read the book again. it was strange though, because it wasn't the same as the first or second time, you know? i guess i'm reading it for details now, rather than the story. and i can put it down this time, which is actually refreshing.
• i found a really fun new blog over at free and flawed. that in and of itself doesn't have anything to do with twilight, but she did write this really funny piece for guidespot.com on the books, entitled "why your girlfriend shouldn't read/see twilight" which you can find here.
• i was in washington this past weekend for M. and J.'s beautiful wedding in sequim. we drove to forks and la push for the hell of it. it rained, snowed, hailed, and cleared up in the hour and a half drive there, which is typical of washington and almost endearing at this point. forks, as we all know, is just your average, small logging town on the peninsula, though it does now have a very busy, thriving "dazzled by twilight" shop kept afloat by a constant influx of teenage girls in "team edward" shirts. there's also a tour you can take, complete in a black twilight tour bus, to see all the sites mentioned in the book. i did not take the tour, for those who are worried/wondering. but because i'm constantly looking for new ways of torturing N., i did consider it. what else is a girlfriend to do, after all?
  
• la push is absolutely beautiful, and it gave me the opportunity to see the sign announcing that travelers are now on the quileute res, thereby putting them on notice that they're under tribal law (i understand that this is only interesting to me, since i work in indian law, so don't feel bad if you're like, "what?").
• for those of you living under a rock, you should definitely check out some of the highpoints in rpatz' GQ shoot.
  
• my bff is currently busy working on her eclipse playlist. if i haven't made this clear already, she makes AWESOME playlists, mainly because she has the best taste in music of anyone i've ever met. she's already made a twilight playlist, and a new moon playlist. she's amazing. i'm going to go ahead and say that hers were better than the actual soundtrack, but i may be biased because i love her, and i love a lot of the bands she used.

and just for fun, here are a few pics from my pilgrimage:

the sign that everyone by now knows and loves, and the infamous bus. for just $30 a head, you too can sit on this bus and drive around forks, instead of just taking your own car even though it's impossible to get lost in forks!



this is the sign i was talking about. (and yes, jacob is supposedly quileute).

the beautiful la push. the res school is down near the beach, and i couldn't help thinking that i would never get any work done with this in my backyard.

music genius

another amazing playlist from K. for new moon.

- surrogate – 15 (before party)
- cursive - some red handed slight of hand (birthday party)
- coldplay – trouble (drive home)
- death cab for cutie - brothers on a hotel bed (later in her room)
- circa survive - in fear and faith (talking in the forest)
- the shins - split needles (he leaves her)
- the juliana theory - as it stands (as if he never existed)
- moby - guitar flute and string (the empty months)
- thom yorke - the eraser (hearing his voice)
- fair – unglued (driving around freaking out, seeing the bikes)
- city & colour - waiting... (jacob)
- barcelona - first floor people (the empty cullen house)
- far-less - a thin line (riding motorcycles)
- sia - breathe me (visiting the meadow)
- thrice - the lion and the wolf (laurent)
- copeland - should you return (thinking she'll die in the meadow)
- the juliana theory - emotion is dead pt. 1 (dreaming of wolves)
- the early november - figure it out (might be falling for jake)
- 30 seconds to mars - from yesterday (cliff jumping)
- secret & whisper - anchors (acoustic) (drowning)
- city & colour - sensible heart (thinking about paris and romeo)
- starsailor - tie up my hands (seeing alice and kissing jake)
- moneen - closing my eyes won't help me leave (edward's call)
- the receiving end of sirens - planning a prison break (off to italy)
- muse - apocalypse please (reunion, and the volturi)
- keane - atlantic (return to forks)
- band of horses - no one's gonna love you (the truth)

my favs: coldplay, death cab, the juliana theory, moby, fair, barcelona, thrice, 30 seconds to mars, secret & whisper, city & colour, muse, band of horses

ummm...wow

Twilight HD Exclusive Trailer



ALSO, so the ever brilliant K. has made a twilight playlist that's about a million times better than the official soundtrack of the movie. i knew there were benefits to having friends who work at record labels and know music like the back of their hands...

enjoy!

- fair - grab your coat (arriving in forks)
- copeland - you have my attention (cafeteria)
- the juliana theory - trance (freaking out in bio)
- far-less - devil without a clue (van on black ice)
- doves - sea song (at first beach)
- muse - time is running out (trouble in port angeles)
- paloalto - breathe in (with him in port angeles)
- the fray - look after you (her room after day at the meadow)
- coldplay - shiver (meadow)
- sigur ros - viorar vel til loftarasa (lullaby)
- the receiving end of sirens - the war of all against all (baseball)
- linkin park - easier to run (escape from forks)
- radiohead - jigsaw falling into place (motel in arizona)
- oh, sleeper - vices like vipers (fight in ballet studio)
- mutemath - after we have left our homes (semi-consciousness)
- death cab for cutie - stable song (ending)

my personal favs are: fair, copeland, paloalto, the fray, and death cab. PERFECT.