Homeward Bound

I'm so excited to be heading off to Hawaii for the rest of the week to hang out with family, watch my big sister renew her vows, and hopefully relax a little!  It's always amazing to be back at home, and to have the entire family together this time around (a rare occurrence these days), even if just for a little bit, is icing on the cake!

Have a great rest of the week and a wonderful weekend, everyone!

if only...

i've been feeling a little disenchanted lately with a lot of things in my life, but mainly with my job and the quality of my free time.  without making this a post about the frustrations of work (because, don't worry, that post will come soon), suffice it to say that i wake up in the mornings dreading going, and i come home relieved to be back.  sunday nights are the worst nights of the week, and fridays can never get here soon enough.  i think i feel like i'm once again spending my time doing something i don't want to do, and as hard as i try, i just can't find a reasonable solution (the obvious one, to me, is not reasonable either in this economy, or in my current situation).  so i feel a little stuck.

because the work week has been so hard to plow through lately, i've been trying to fill my free time with fun activities that won't break my budget and is something N. and i can do together.  let's have a party at our place on saturday, lets redecorate our bathroom, we should go thrift store hunting, lets spend a night vegging out and have a movie marathon, lets take finn on a hike, my list literally goes on for days.  unfortunately, the excitement of these activities is short-lived, and i always end the weekend feeling more exhausted than when it began.  coupled with that is the fact that N. and i haven't spent time together - quality, relaxing, just the two of us, time - in a while, and our schedules on most day don't exactly mesh.  so i feel a little stuck, again.

with all of this, and just with the general feeling of being in a lull that i can't break out of, i've been wanting to plan a nice weekend getaway for the two of us.  now, i love the city.  i do, really.  but i desperately, desperately need to get out of it.  nothing about the city rejuvenates me.  in fact, for the most part, being in cities tends to stress me out more.  i always feel like i need or want to be on the go all the time, and i'm constantly overstimulated.  no, cities don't relax me.  i want views and open spaces, green earth, blue sky, quiet instead of traffic, mountains, ocean, fresh air, and time to just turn my mind off.  but, even with all of northern california's beauty, i can't figure out where to find this.  the reason for this is largely cost and time prohibitions.

i want to get far enough away, but i don't want to have to take a flight.

i don't want to camp, but i want the accommodations to be affordable.

i don't want to go somewhere i've already been, but i've been to most places within driving distance of home.

i realize i'm being a little ridiculous and more than a little picky, but it's at times like these when i find myself playing the "if only" game.  if only i had more money, we could do more things.  if only i were still in school, i'd have large enough breaks where i could plan longer trips more frequently.  (yes, i realize the first and second "if only's" seem sort of mutually exclusive)  if only we still lived in seattle, i could think of places to take a weekend getaway.  if only, if only, if only.

it's enough to drive yourself crazy.

what do you do when you get mentally stuck in these situations?  do you take trips, spend some time alone?  how do you get yourself out of the "same old, rut"?  any suggestions for a quick weekend trip around the bay area?

oh, hi vancouver

as i mentioned in my last olympics post, something sort of surprising came up and, as it turns out, N. and i ended up taking a very last minute flight up to seattle (courtesy of the free flights we had on virgin america, so i didn't need to break my monthly budget!), piling into a car with a bunch of the superfriends from college, and heading up to vancouver the weekend of the closing ceremonies (and the big U.S.A. v. Canada hockey game).  we didn't have tickets to an event but, as i soon found out, vancouver during the olympics is an event in and of itself.

the city just came alive.

if there were words enough to convey how incredible of an experience this was, i'd find them and use them over and over.  but there aren't, so all i can say is that everyone, absolutely every single person on the planet (and that means YOU!), should go to the olympics at least once in their lives.  not only are there a billion things to do, but there are a billion people doing them as well, and then sense of comradery and fun and...global citizenship...is so inspiring and refreshing.  it's cheesey, i know.  but it's also so very true.

as the canadian woman i sat next to on the flight back told me: it's one of those experiences you just never forget.

 

vancouver really does look like both the olympics and the canadian flag threw up on it.  there's even a building (at least 5 stories tall) that has a giant -- and by giant i mean GIANT -- canadian flag wrapped around it.  it's awesome.

the rings!  it was so exciting to see them in person after seeing them behind bob costas on tv all week!
 

and these are a whole different sort of olympic rings.  you can't see it, but he also has the canadian maple leaf on the top of his head.  the press were taking pictures of him, so we pretended to be press as well and got a few shots.  :)

sumi!  the olympic mascots were doing a "mascots on ice" show at the underground ice rink in robson square in downtown vancouver, and we were lucky enough to be in time for a show.  after the show, there was free skate time, and my friends and i became buddies with a 10 year old boy who not only dominated everyone in hockey, but he was also a fan of trivia and asked us a bunch of questions about canada and the olympics, and gave us pins (which were apparently a HUGE thing for some reason) as prizes.  he decided we weren't worthy when he asked us "who's going to win tomorrow's gold medal hockey game?" and we answered, "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"  i'm just happy he didn't throw a puck at us.

quachi!  he nearly ate us.  i came home with a quachi doll for my nephew, which i don't really want to part with anymore.  at least i didn't get the version where he has on those incredibly popular (and sold out) red mittens...  i'd never give him up then.
 

a look down robson street, which was packed every single second of the day.  at random intervals you'd begin hearing canada chants, and see someone run by wearing a canadian flag as a cape.  there were lines getting into absolutely everything, but the atmosphere was so charged with energy that it was fun just walking around, shopping, catching events on tv's in pubs, bars, and on one of the many outdoor screens set up, and people watching.

this is robson square, and under this glass dome is the ice rink where we saw the mascots on ice earlier in the day.  on the upper right corner of the picture, you can just make out a few cables.  those are for the zipline going over robson square.  every few minutes, all you'd hear is a scream, then someone would whiz by above your head.  the superfriends and i wanted to do it, but the line was 4 hours long and i'd prefer to give it a shot up at whistler one day anyway!
 

more olympic rings, sometime near midnight.
 

 and at long last, the outdoor cauldron.  at the end of our night, we all just sat in the middle of the huge crowd surrounding the flame and tried to take in our time in vancouver.   there was a russian choir nearby singing and playing the accoustic guitar, and it sort of just rounded out the moment.  from this cauldron, you can see the faint glow of some of the ski villages on the ridges surrounding the city, you can see the olympic rings, and you sort of feel like you're in the center of everything.  it was great.  memorable.  i suggest you go to the next games.

The Beach Day

Some creative writing fluff I began on the plane ride back from Hawaii last week.

I’m more comfortable waking up in my grandparents home than I am waking up anywhere else in the world. This is where I feel most safe, most loved, most free to be who I am. In the house I grew up in, the house that will probably remain in my family for generations to come.

This is what I’m thinking as my heavy eyes start to slowly flutter open one morning.

It’s still dark. That’s my second, not-so-coherent thought. It’s still dark, and there’s a storm passing over the island. I can hear the rain on the iron roof, another comfort. It’s loud, sounding more like nails than water, and I can hear the periodic Splat! Splat! every other second as those drops hit the ti leaves outside of the bedroom window.

I fix my bleary eyes on the new alarm clock my grandmother purchased and put on the bedside table before I arrived a few days earlier. I have to squint to see numbers rather than just a bright fluorescent green glow; I don’t have my contacts on and am too lazy to reach for my glasses. Once I focus, I can see that it reads 4:07 A.M. No wonder it’s still dark.

I was hoping this would be a beach day, and it would seem that this storm had other ideas, but I know better than to make this call based on the fact that it’s raining at 4 a.m. on this particular side of the island. After all, when is it not raining at 4 a.m. on this side of the island? Comforted by this thought, and by the rhythm of the falling rain, I snuggle back down into blankets I don’t really need, and doze off.

I know it’s light out before I open my eyes again.

My first thought is that the rain has stopped. I can hear the mynah birds hanging out in the coconut trees in the back of the house, the new puppy my aunt got is digging and sniffing at something outside of my window, and the cars are already going up and down the street with quiet regularity.

I don’t open my eyes yet, it always takes me a while. Instead, I bring my arms over my head and yawn. That’s when I feel the bed depress at the footboard under some new weight. I feel that same weight move across the bottom of the bed and settle, slowly, between my calves. Testing, I stretch my legs out, bring my feet together, and come up against something warm and immovable. I nudge it, and am greeted with the familiar soft Meow of my blue calico sweetheart, my Mija. I open my eyes and she’s staring back at me from her curled position, waiting. Obligingly, I move my legs aside towards the edge of the bed and give her more room. Satisfied, she yawns, puts her head down, brings her paw up to cover her face, and falls asleep, exhausted, no doubt, after her evening of playing Queen of the Castle while the rest of the household slept.

Quietly, so as not to disturb Her Majesty, I slip out of bed and clear my fuzzy brain. I can hear the sounds of life on the other side of the bedroom door, and I mentally place my family. My mother is at work, she’d have left a little after 7:00 this morning to make it to the Pet Hospital in town half an hour away. My older sister and her son couldn’t make it to Hilo this weekend, so they’re not here. My brother in law, is in Iraq for his second tour. Little Sister, who’s home for vacation as well, is more than likely still asleep, sprawled across her bed in the next room. I look at the clock again: 8:45 A.M. She won’t be up for another hour, at the earliest. I can hear the laundry going, so my grandmother is probably out in the garage hanging clothes on the line to dry. On the other hand, I can’t here Papa walking around their bedroom, or watching TV, so he’s mostly likely sitting in his chair out on the deck. That’s everyone, all accounted for.

Turning around to find my contact lens case, I remember that I wanted to head to the beach today. Thinking this, I look toward the window and smile. There, visible above the banana trees and the roof of our neighbor Miss Kat’s garage, is the slice of blue I’m looking for. The sky hasn’t yet turned that bright, bold, legendary blue of Hawaiian fantasies, but the pale blue of the morning holds promise. I step to the window and glance out through the screen. Not a cloud in the sky. The 4 a.m. rainstorm has blown out to journey across the Pacific.

By mid-morning, I’m antsy. I sit outside with my grandfather, play cards with my grandmother, watch the old men of the village sit outside of the General Store across the street and sip their coffees, take note of the number of tourists in shiny cars heading up the street to start their mornings off with a hike around Akaka Falls, and wait for my sister to wake up. I’ve decided that it is, after all, a beach day. The sky has become a crisp, deep blue, and the sun is already drying the wet left over on the grass and the pavement. There’s a nice, cool, clean breeze coming down from the Hamakua Coast, and it doesn’t smell of the rain. Now, on most days I wouldn’t think much of these signs; what the weather is like on the Windward side of the island says pitifully little of what the weather will be like on the Leeward side. But I feel it today, a prickling on my skin, a knowing in my bones: it’s a beach day.

It’s nearly 10 a.m. when Little Sister finally peeks her head out of the screen door and I can tell her that I’ve committed her to laying around on the sand with me at Hapuna all day. She agrees with a smile and disappears inside to, I assume, choose which bathing suit she’ll use. She has the best bathing suit body, and it never ceases to annoy me. We head out for the hour-long drive before 11:00, armed with a cooler of sodas, some musubi, and a plan to pick up some fried chicken from KTA in Waimea on the way over.

The drive from Honomu to Waikaloa seemed horribly long when I was a kid. Anything after Kolekole Beach Park, which is three minutes from Honomu, seemed like it took forever to get to. My sisters and I found ways of amusing ourselves on those long drives, and we still use those methods today. We wait for the passing of the three horseshoes – Maulua, Laupahoehoe, and Kawili gulches – we stop off at Tex Drive-in for some of their famous malasadas, we take a spin down to the Waipio Valley look out, we count cows in the pasture lands leading into Waimea, attempt to pick out paniolo amongst them, we stop at KTA for any last-minute necessities, then we hold our breath and hope that, once we get to dry-side Waimea, the weather is clear and warm.

On this particular day, we’re not disappointed. As green, grassy fields give way to the yellow-brown dryness of mountain slopes, and then the dramatic black and sapphire of sand-dotted coastline, the weather drastically changes from cool to blistering. The ocean is still today, thankfully. There are no white-caps, no thick bands of white wash along the beaches. The breeze that’s been blowing through the driver’s side window of my grandfather’s Dodge grows warmer and, in complete sync, Little Sister and I roll both cab windows the rest of the way down. She leans over to turn up the radio. Content with this ritual, I reach my arm out of the window, bring my fingers together, and let it rest on the wind creating wave forms as we drive.

The popularity of Hapuna’s fine white sand and wide expanse of sunbathing space, as well as the upscale resort sitting on its edge, mean that, as usual, the parking lot is busy and difficult to maneuver. Because we’re in the monstrosity known as the Dodge, we decide to save ourselves the grief of waiting for a closer space and just park in the far lot, where the rest of the oversized trucks have found homes. Climbing out, my feet hit the pavement and I immediately feel the heat of the black tarmac through my slippers. We grab the cooler, shopping bag, and our beach bags and head down the trail to the beach, passing bathrooms, pavilions, and frying tourists on the way. As usual, we lay down our towels on the left side of the beach, closest to the rock cliff bordering Hapuna cove, and farthest from the resort on the opposite end. Here, we may get a shot at some shade, should the heat become too much to handle. The only risk is that there are ants that live under the keawe growing nears that rock cliff, so we keep a slight distance to be safe.

It’s hard to explain what happens when my body hits the towel, when I dig my fingers into the sand, when I close my eyes and feel the muscles in my body relax one by one. I often say this when I step off of planes in Honolulu, but it rings more true here: it really is like my skin recognizes Hawai‘i. It’s the tingle I was talking about earlier. When the familiar heat warms my shoulders and cheeks, I feel most at home. There’s only a slight wind here today, and it carries on it the coconut of sunblock my sister is massaging into her arms, the deliciousness of grilled chicken and hot dogs from the pavilions near the showers, and that unique smell of the ocean I’ve learned I can’t live without.

The day passes in a relaxing haze. Little Sister and I leave our towels periodically to jump into the gentle surf and swim out until we can barely touch the sandy bottom with the tips of our toes. We come back in and collapse again, then enjoy the way the sun dries droplets of salt water on our backs. We eat our musubi, chicken and malasadas, and take a short walk down half of the beach, making sure we don’t crush anyone’s sand castles along the way. I fall asleep for a few minutes to the sound of the restless waves, the chatter of sunbathers, and the happy sound of families enjoying a beach day. We spend hours of this lazy Saturday this way, and sooner than it seems it should be, it’s time to go.

We trace our path home and pull into our long driveway a little after 4:30 that afternoon. My mother isn’t home from work yet, but my grandparents wave and greet us from the front deck where they’ve been listening to music and calling out Hello’s to other village members throughout the day. We step out of the truck and head into the house. My body is slightly achy in the places where I neglected to reapply sunscreen after making my way out of the surf. By the time I go to bed tonight, those areas have turned a slight pink which will last for exactly two days before fading into the brown that is my Native Hawaiian heritage. I shower gently, being sure not to aggravate my skin any more than it may already be, but the cool/warm water washing the salt out of my hair feels almost as good as it felt getting the salt into my hair. Replacing the smell of sunblock with the smell of my lavender shampoo is bittersweet, and I’m already calculating when is the next time I’ll be able to head out to Hapuna again. Before dressing, like any self-respecting local girl, I check out my tan lines. Then, in deference to my sunburnt skin, I dress in the loosest pair of shorts and a tank I own, and rub Aloe gel all over my back and shoulders. The cooling sensation feels like heaven.

It is much later, at 11:00 when I’m finally getting ready for bed, that I hear it: Splat! Splat!

I pause for a second in the act of throwing throw pillows on the floor. There it is, that Splat! Splat! again, followed by the soft sound of water falling on the iron roof, growing louder and louder as the minutes pass.

I smile as I fall asleep to the rhythm of the falling rain, with Mija curled at the foot of my bed. It was a great beach day.

hello, 2009. it's nice to meet you.

so the other night N. and i were over at my bff's amazing new house with her new husband and my other bff, and we were having a sort of wrap-up of 2008 discussion. across the board, this has been a pretty bad year for most people i know. and my bff started talking about how it should have been a great year for us since we're the year of the rat and all (she's been finding out more about her chinese ancestry since she's been working on a genealogy project for grad school for the passed 2 months), but since that hasn't happened, maybe it'll roll over to 2009. she's prepared to do various things to ensure that this goes through (which many people, my grandmother for example, do), including cleaning her house from top to bottom before last night, setting off certain fireworks from the four corners of her roof at midnight, making the proper offerings of money or incense (?), and receiving licee, etc. i don't know a thing about any of this (though N. does since he's half chinese as well), but she said she'd include thoughts and hopes for my 2009 into her rituals, i'm not arguing.

my rituals, on the other hand, are slightly different from hers. i don't actually think i have any, come to think of it. originally, N. and i had planned to do a whole new years things with friends last night, but plans changed since we missed our flight back from hawaii on the 30th and ended up getting back to oakland at 10pm last night instead. it was silly, really. we didn't miss our flight for any huge reason; we were sitting at burger king in the interisland terminal chatting away before we realized that our flight was taking off. so we rebooked our flight for last night and ended up calling my older sister to come and get us so we could stay with her for the night. which actually worked out amazingly well, since it allowed me to FINALLY meet my new niece, and hang out with my nephew. not to mention that big sis let us borrow her truck for the afternoon, so N. and i just drove around to beaches, got something to eat, and hung out.

there are worse places to be stuck on a layover.

but since we got back so late last night, i wasn't in the mood to jump off of a 5 and a half hour plane ride and go straight to a party. so instead we just hung out at home, which was fine with me.

i have made some resolutions, however. i'm trying not to make them too overly ambitious since no one ever ends up keeping those resolutions, so they may not be too interesting.

1. join a gym. notice that for once it doesn't say, "lose weight." i never keep that resolution. this one is a bit more baby-step-ish, so i feel better about it. there's a gym i have in mind that i'm going to check out next week. and yes, the joining does entail actually going to the gym. i purposefully set up my class schedule so that it allows for more "me time" this semester, which includes exercising, so i think i'm headed in the right direction.
2. write. this one excites me. it's purely meant to be writing for pleasure. not publication, not academia, just for fun. whether anyone will ever read it doesn't really matter. i need to write again.
3. get out of credit card debt. for more on this, see "confessions of a shopaholic" post.
   
4. not make myself sick over what may happen after graduation. my problem has always been that i need a plan to the point where i make myself suffer if i don't. this is the first time in my life that a huge life change is coming up (graduation in may), and i have absolutely no idea where i'm going to be after it. currently, i have the possibility of a job i may want lined up, and the ability to apply for other jobs i probably don't want at my fingertips. it's the first time i don't know what i really want though, and normally, this would make me sick to the point where i wouldn't be able to function. but i'm working on not letting my ocd tendencies get the better of me. things will work out. things will work out. things will work out.
5. be happy. this one ties in to the last one and is probably the biggest and most important of my resolutions. while i didn't have control over a lot of what happened in 2008, i did have control over my reactions to those things, and in the end, it's those reactions that paved the way for how the year would proceed. so my only conclusions can be that i made myself unhappy this year. i made 2008 difficult for myself. and i refuse to do that in 2009. whatever else happens, i want to approach my decisions, big or small, with the goal of being happy. should i take the bar? well, would it make me happy to do so? should i apply for this job? well, would i be happy if i was offered the job and accepted? it may sound selfish, and i'll try not to be, but i just feel like this is a much better approach, and a sort of middle ground, to how i usually go about doing things. we'll see how it turned out, i guess, on december 31st, 2009.

anyhow, there it is. there are more mini-resolutions that i'm not going in to detail about (blog more regularly, read more frequently and eclectically, go to shows again, finish publishing my article, travel out of the country), but i think those are the biggies.

oh, also, i'm going to be working on a new blog layout over the next couple of days, and will probably be shifting over to wordpress, but i'll keep you posted.

stuff to come:

• flickr
• review of "the reincarnationist" by m.j. rose

Happy Christmas!

i don't know why, but i've always thought that the british way of saying "happy christmas" instead of "merry christmas" sounded better, so i'm trying it out.

But given where i am, i guess i should say Mele Kalikimaka instead!

also, in terms of a very short book review:

very interesting.

K. had suggested i read this book a few months ago and i finally found the time to do it. it took me about a day off and on, and i've been trying to decide what i think of the book every since i finished it.

the book is written in a series of letters that this high school freshman boy, Charlie, sends to an unidentified reader throughout the school year, and through these letters we get to experience Charlie's life. he's an awkward kid with great taste in music (this occurs in the 90's, so it's a lot of the smith's and nirvana, etc.), and an apparently astounding IQ. he reads and writes and smokes and drinks, and he's in love with his best friend, Sam (a girl).

i just spent the passed 15 minutes writing up my thoughts on this book and what happens and what Charlie goes through and how he grows, etc., and then deleted it all. it makes no sense for me to try and explain this book. there's just too much going on, and definitely too much to take in. let's just say i like the book and think you should give it a shot. it's one of those books where, if you don't like it in the first few pages, you won't like the entire thing, so at least you'll be able to figure it out quicky and decide whether to finish it or not!

hello december, it's been a while

it is officially the last month of what's probably been the most difficult year of my life. i've been waiting for december to arrive for a while now, and can only breathe a sigh of relief now that it's finally here.

what i'm looking forward to this month:

• going home, obviously! i'll be in hawaii from dec. 17th-30th this year, which will give me the much-needed vacation i've been looking forward to, and will allow me to get my fill of my boondock-y home town until next time.
• seeing my new niece for the first time! she's 6 months old and i haven't met her yet!
• playing with my nephew, who seems to realize his agency more and more each time i see him. why can't they stay 2 years old forever?
• christmas shopping! we need to stimulate our economy people! :)
  
• visiting with my grandparents. probably what i'm looking forward to most, even if it'll most likely mean playing hours upon hours of gin rummy. i miss them like absolute crazy. i've also been wanting to get my family history/stories out of my grandfather, so maybe i'll find time to video record him while i'm there.
• watching the bf bond with my dad over throw-netting and spear fishing. it'll be a sight to see, and i'm bringing my camera.
• reading. i've got a book list as long as my arm. see it on the right hand side of my blog.
  
• reclaiming the tan i've lost somewhere along the way.
• finally finishing my article! it's been months and months in coming, and it'll finally be ready for publication! woo!
• ending what's been the worst semester of my academic career.
• christmas! i love absolutely everything about christmas. i've got lists ready to go and cookies ready to bake.
• writing for fun. i plan on sitting on the patio and writing till my hands fall off.
• the beach. ohhhhh, the beach. ocean so blue it looks fake. sand so warm it burns your feet. *SIGH*
• hilo rain. i know this seems like the exact opposite from the last one, but the fact is that hilo is one of the rainiest places in the united states, with quillayute/forks, WA coming in next of course. it's just that it rains at night (every night). so you go to the beach during the day, then fall asleep to a storm. there's nothing like it.
• seeing some of the bffs for the first time since lehua's wedding in june. it's tradition to go to this italian place and order the same exact thing every single time.
• seeing my mom. i don't know if you can ever miss anyone the way you miss your mother.
  

just 17 days and counting!

happy december everyone!


also, and kind of randomly, i don't know if i've mentioned this before but i think the Lord of the Rings movies are some of my favorite movies ever, which is saying a lot considering how hard it is for me to pick a favorite anything. i decided this over the weekend, since tbs has been playing the movies over and over, and we (meaning me, the bf, and the bf's bff) have been watching them. not only do those movies give me the opportunity to see new zealand again, which can't be discounted (my bf and i met and started dating while studying abroad in new zealand), but they are just ridiculously well-made films.

i've read the books (the hobbit through the silmarilian). i love the books. and i think the movies were such clever adaptations of one of the best stories ever written. i mean, tolkien created an entire world. how do you do that? it's amazing.

damn, now i need to add that series to the book list again...

and finally, i think bella's lullaby is growing on me. put it on repeat and it's great study music. still not sure if i like it as that specific song though...

endings or beginnings

finals are over and christmas has come and gone. this amounts to being very bittersweet for me.

but i'm in love with the changes coming up. i have resolutions to make, habits to get rid of, re-organizing and re-arranging to get on with.

i'm in the process of changing out my room. not only is this a fabulous excuse to go shopping, but it's just good to get rid of the old and bring in the new. i returned from hawaii (which, as always, was wonderful even though some very important people in my life were missing) to the chaos of my room, post-finals. it was like walking into a brick wall of stress. there were outlines everywhere, clothes strewn across desk, chair, and floor, flow charts tacked onto the walls, evidence of my mad dash to do some last-minute mainland christmas shopping before heading to the islands. and then i added my luggage to the mix. it felt like a layer of fog had rolled over my room so that there was no where to step, no where to think, no where to breathe or be calm.

so i've spent the last day and a half cleaning up. not only for my own sanity and peace of mind, but also because my little sister (one of those important missing people) is coming to visit me tomorrow! excitement!

i'm dreading the new semester to come. this last one was so difficult and i'm not sure what to expect next. what will be thrown at us this time around?

but i don't want to think about that for a few more days. i've got some fun things to look forward to this week: A., new years, sight-seeing, good friends and good times. we'll deal with the unpleasant when it becomes necessary.

i've posted pics from thanksgiving through winter break on myspace!