so i forgot to send in my spring transcript to KSBE. my scholarship counsel just emailed me tonight saying that my scholarship is going to be delayed until i send in the transcript and they can review it. funny thing is that i had just printed out the KSBE address to put in my bag so i can order the transcript tomorrow when i'm on campus. even funnier thing is that KSBE has a gpa requirement of 3.0 for grad school scholarship recipients. so i may not even get the scholarship in the end.
PERFECT.
i have enough money to cover tuition and BARELY scrape by for the year. and i do mean absolutely bottom of the bucket BARELY. so it would definitely suck if they didn't give it to me in end. and i just totally don't think the grades from your first year of law school is any indication of how good of a student you are. all it tells you is how you do compared to a bunch of other people.
whatever.
in other news, i just rediscovered "hey there delilah" by the plain white t's. forgot how much i loved this song. and how...melancholy...it made me feel. the good ones always do. did you know that the song was written for a real girl? she was a student at columbia and an olympic hopeful. they never dated, she was never interested. but he thought she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, so he wrote the song from the perspective of a "what if". that almost makes it worse.
July 31, 2007
July 20, 2007
July 19, 2007
July 18, 2007
the halfway point (of summer, not of life)
i know i haven't been keeping up! i'm sorry! but i've been updating my myspace with pics practically daily! that has to count for something, right?!
and honestly, i've just been really out of it lately. i feel like i've been walking in this heavy...fog, and there's no where to really go because you can't even see the shit that you're about to fall over. it's just been an off sort of week, i guess.
i don't know. i feel...trapped? well, no...stuck, i think is what i'm looking for. and not in my personal life, but more in my professional life. i mean, i'm on this track, right? this "law school" track, this "elite" (whatever the hell that means) track, this friggin' ONE WAY track to some sort of future that is just so damn SET that i feel suffocated half of the time. on one hand, i have these GREAT internships this summer, working on human/indigenous rights and debt relief and things that are going to be sent to the UN, and that's the whole reason i'm in law school, to get to do these things. and on the other hand, when i think up a dream job, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the law. NOTHING.
and i know i've always told myself that the law degree is a means to an end, a way to getting my life into a position where i can actually DO the things i want to do (and if you know me, you also know that this has something to do with a small town near the ocean, and a bookstore owned by yours truly), because let's face it, i don't exactly come from a background where money is just flying out of bulging pockets, do i? but this is just taking so damn LONG. and what if it never happens? what if i never get the job that will bankroll my dreams? what if i end up poor and up to my ears in law school debt, with a job i hate but can't afford to lose, and no time whatsoever to do any of the things i've always wanted to do?
i want to travel.
i want to read.
i want to write.
i want to settle.
and i just want to get out of this horrible mood. i'm exhausted.
eew. N.'s dog just farted in my room.
and honestly, i've just been really out of it lately. i feel like i've been walking in this heavy...fog, and there's no where to really go because you can't even see the shit that you're about to fall over. it's just been an off sort of week, i guess.
i don't know. i feel...trapped? well, no...stuck, i think is what i'm looking for. and not in my personal life, but more in my professional life. i mean, i'm on this track, right? this "law school" track, this "elite" (whatever the hell that means) track, this friggin' ONE WAY track to some sort of future that is just so damn SET that i feel suffocated half of the time. on one hand, i have these GREAT internships this summer, working on human/indigenous rights and debt relief and things that are going to be sent to the UN, and that's the whole reason i'm in law school, to get to do these things. and on the other hand, when i think up a dream job, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the law. NOTHING.
and i know i've always told myself that the law degree is a means to an end, a way to getting my life into a position where i can actually DO the things i want to do (and if you know me, you also know that this has something to do with a small town near the ocean, and a bookstore owned by yours truly), because let's face it, i don't exactly come from a background where money is just flying out of bulging pockets, do i? but this is just taking so damn LONG. and what if it never happens? what if i never get the job that will bankroll my dreams? what if i end up poor and up to my ears in law school debt, with a job i hate but can't afford to lose, and no time whatsoever to do any of the things i've always wanted to do?
i want to travel.
i want to read.
i want to write.
i want to settle.
and i just want to get out of this horrible mood. i'm exhausted.
eew. N.'s dog just farted in my room.
July 9, 2007
welcome to the 21st century!
so i've totally updated my myspace (everything except my userpic and travelogues i think), so everyone should check it out. especially the AWESOME vid i put up. i'll give you a teaser: it involves N., dancing, and lots of alcohol. note for B.: this was our pre-party before your bday-bash!
and i thought i'd post some pics up here too!
the law school gang, minus R. (who i think is at a bar on the haight). we had just finished finals our first semester, L. got engaged about 20 minutes before this was taken, and B. was about to get engaged the next day!
the city from treasure island. it was such a great day, so N. and i decided to drive around sf and marin for a while.
harry potter night!
i think it's funny that N.'s shirt says "youth leadership, racial and social justice." if you know him, you kinda realize how spot-on that is. i think we were in sf when we took this.
part of the quints during our traditional lets-hang-out-when-i-get-back-to-hilo nights. we did the requisite cafe pesto, had salmon linguine, and then went back to A.'s place to hear some of her knew music. she truly, TRULY blows me away. and i stand by my previous statements that SHE NEEDS TO MAKE AN ALBUM!
check out myspace for the rest!
and i thought i'd post some pics up here too!
the law school gang, minus R. (who i think is at a bar on the haight). we had just finished finals our first semester, L. got engaged about 20 minutes before this was taken, and B. was about to get engaged the next day!
the city from treasure island. it was such a great day, so N. and i decided to drive around sf and marin for a while.
harry potter night!
i think it's funny that N.'s shirt says "youth leadership, racial and social justice." if you know him, you kinda realize how spot-on that is. i think we were in sf when we took this.
part of the quints during our traditional lets-hang-out-when-i-get-back-to-hilo nights. we did the requisite cafe pesto, had salmon linguine, and then went back to A.'s place to hear some of her knew music. she truly, TRULY blows me away. and i stand by my previous statements that SHE NEEDS TO MAKE AN ALBUM!check out myspace for the rest!
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