In honor of the fact that it's a very important movie premiere day for many, many [mostly women] around the world (and ohmygod I can't wait to see it), I wanted to make a shout out back to the days when our world did not revolve around vampires, wolves, and awkward teenage girls.
So let me ask you, when was the last time you checked out this movie?
I found it on On Demand the other night and couldn't resist. Now, I realize this is sort of a classic of our generation, like The Goonies (let's pause for a moment to appreciate The Goonies), but...WOW. That's really all there is to say about it. Wow.
Interestingly enough, they're making a remake! Let's hope the dubbing over the German isn't so obvious this time around...
Also, who besides me remembers that Jonathan Brandis played Bastian in the sequel? Who besides me even remembers that there was a sequel?
June 30, 2010
June 29, 2010
Not Another Empty Promise
I find myself writing posts like this fairly often: posts which list the things I want to start doing or the goals I've thought up for myself. I write them almost once a month (if not more) but, unfortunately as has been my experience, I rarely seem to follow-through with these grand plans of mine. As many of you may know by now, this is unlike me. I generally don't not finish things and, in fact, I'm almost obnoxious in my stubbornness to see things through (case in point: law school). But for some reason, when it comes to positive changes in my life that will benefit me most of all, I just can't finish.
To be clear, I don't think not wanting to do has ever been my problem. I think, instead, my problem has generally been a slow decrease in motivation, in inspiration. I don't often feel inspired (or remain that way for very long), and that's been a struggle I've had for a while now to the point where, when I try to do something or see something through (especially if that something is a creative project), it's felt forced. And that's the last thing you want to feel when you're trying to create something organic and natural and beautiful.
But things have been a little different in the last couple of weeks, and I've felt inspired in a number of areas of my life. Lately, people around me have been doing, have been living and having, and it's been wonderful to see and share in. So wonderful, in fact, that I've realized I want it for myself, you know? I want to do and live and have, and I want my inspiration, my happiness and satisfaction to be contagious to others as well. And, most of all, I want these feelings to produce something fulfilling and sustainable.
Now, not all of these things (if any) are novel ideas for me. As I've said, I write posts like this one a lot. So instead of saying "here are the things I'm inspired to do," let me just say that these are some of the areas of my life that I'd like to continue to improve upon in a more active (much less passive) sort of way:
Taking control of my health and habits by recommitting to going to the gym (like blogging, my exercise habits were something that also suffered when work hit the fan), by paying more attention to the food I'm eating and, perhaps, beginning to make changes in my diet as well, and by living a more active, outdoor lifestyle (since being outside and away from cities has been one of the biggest stress relievers I've found in the last year or two).
Seeking out opportunities for both graduate school (see yesterday's post), and other areas of my life that I've recently felt I've been neglecting. For example, I've officially enrolled in a few community college night classes for the fall just...because (cultural anthropology and archaeology, in case you were wondering). I've also begun researching the possibility of doing some of the things I highlighted a while ago when I wrote about the road less traveled. I'm not sure how to work much of that into my current situation, but there's no harm in trying! And finally, I found a job I'd actually like to apply for! While this may not really sound like cause of celebration, this is a huge step for me, and it's finally one in the right direction.
Recommitting to getting out of debt. You may have noticed that I haven't recently written about blogging through my debt, and the reason is because it's been a real struggle lately to not get into debt (and, if I'm honest, I wasn't on the winning side of that struggle and am now several hundred dollars more in debt than I was a few months ago).
Paying more attention to the under-utilized creative half of my brain. I'm not sure what this will entail yet because I've been wanting to do so many things lately (write, paint, redesign my blog, take a photography class, redecorate our house, bake), but I also feel like trying to do it all at once will be overwhelming and, in the end, unsuccessful. So I'm taking a page out of N.'s book and focusing on only one of those things for a while before moving on. I haven't yet decided what that one thing will be, but I plan on thinking it over and writing more about it in the next day or two. To help me out with this last point in particular, I've decided to take part in a Creative Challenge, issued by Ashley over at Writing To Reach You. If you're at all interested in reading about the Challenge or (hopefully!) taking part in it for the month of July, please head over to her blog and check out the details (ball gets rolling this week, so hurry!). I'll post more about this soon!
What I'm hoping will come out of all of this is, funnily enough, not another blog post. I don't want to find myself writing the same promises to myself in three months. Instead, I want to be able to update you all on the progress I've made, on the things I've done, and on the new plans I have. That, in and of itself, is the challenge I issue to myself: do something great, and follow-through!
To be clear, I don't think not wanting to do has ever been my problem. I think, instead, my problem has generally been a slow decrease in motivation, in inspiration. I don't often feel inspired (or remain that way for very long), and that's been a struggle I've had for a while now to the point where, when I try to do something or see something through (especially if that something is a creative project), it's felt forced. And that's the last thing you want to feel when you're trying to create something organic and natural and beautiful.
But things have been a little different in the last couple of weeks, and I've felt inspired in a number of areas of my life. Lately, people around me have been doing, have been living and having, and it's been wonderful to see and share in. So wonderful, in fact, that I've realized I want it for myself, you know? I want to do and live and have, and I want my inspiration, my happiness and satisfaction to be contagious to others as well. And, most of all, I want these feelings to produce something fulfilling and sustainable.
Now, not all of these things (if any) are novel ideas for me. As I've said, I write posts like this one a lot. So instead of saying "here are the things I'm inspired to do," let me just say that these are some of the areas of my life that I'd like to continue to improve upon in a more active (much less passive) sort of way:
Taking control of my health and habits by recommitting to going to the gym (like blogging, my exercise habits were something that also suffered when work hit the fan), by paying more attention to the food I'm eating and, perhaps, beginning to make changes in my diet as well, and by living a more active, outdoor lifestyle (since being outside and away from cities has been one of the biggest stress relievers I've found in the last year or two).
Seeking out opportunities for both graduate school (see yesterday's post), and other areas of my life that I've recently felt I've been neglecting. For example, I've officially enrolled in a few community college night classes for the fall just...because (cultural anthropology and archaeology, in case you were wondering). I've also begun researching the possibility of doing some of the things I highlighted a while ago when I wrote about the road less traveled. I'm not sure how to work much of that into my current situation, but there's no harm in trying! And finally, I found a job I'd actually like to apply for! While this may not really sound like cause of celebration, this is a huge step for me, and it's finally one in the right direction.
Recommitting to getting out of debt. You may have noticed that I haven't recently written about blogging through my debt, and the reason is because it's been a real struggle lately to not get into debt (and, if I'm honest, I wasn't on the winning side of that struggle and am now several hundred dollars more in debt than I was a few months ago).
Paying more attention to the under-utilized creative half of my brain. I'm not sure what this will entail yet because I've been wanting to do so many things lately (write, paint, redesign my blog, take a photography class, redecorate our house, bake), but I also feel like trying to do it all at once will be overwhelming and, in the end, unsuccessful. So I'm taking a page out of N.'s book and focusing on only one of those things for a while before moving on. I haven't yet decided what that one thing will be, but I plan on thinking it over and writing more about it in the next day or two. To help me out with this last point in particular, I've decided to take part in a Creative Challenge, issued by Ashley over at Writing To Reach You. If you're at all interested in reading about the Challenge or (hopefully!) taking part in it for the month of July, please head over to her blog and check out the details (ball gets rolling this week, so hurry!). I'll post more about this soon!
What I'm hoping will come out of all of this is, funnily enough, not another blog post. I don't want to find myself writing the same promises to myself in three months. Instead, I want to be able to update you all on the progress I've made, on the things I've done, and on the new plans I have. That, in and of itself, is the challenge I issue to myself: do something great, and follow-through!
June 28, 2010
beginning somewhere
when i began my college search all those years ago in the 11th grade, i wasn't doing it alone. fortunately for me, my high school had a great college guidance center and counselors who made finding, applying for, and selecting schools as easy as it could possibly have been. to say i was spoon fed would not be an understatement. in fact, (partially due to my anal need to be organized), i still have the three-ring binder i kept all college brochures and paperwork in. it included a to-do checklist, financial aid info, application fee forms and waivers, copies of personal statements, transcripts and hard copies of all applications, as well as questionnaires provided by our counselors for us to use when figuring out what considerations (i.e. location, size, cost, etc.) were most important to us in our decision-making. the world really was my oyster, and i think i chose my undergraduate school mainly because it was far enough away from home without being too far, and i knew people who were going to be matriculating with me, including one of my best friends.
choosing a college was one of the easiest decisions i've ever made.
when i was selecting a law school, on the other hand, i think i did so rather blindly. when applying for college, i had no doubt i'd get into the school i wanted to attend; when applying for law school, all i had was doubt, and that played a large role in where i applied. i don't think the doubt was so much about getting in somewhere, but more where that school was going to be. i was in a new relationship and it, along with financial aid concerns, was my deciding factor. those weeks of decision-making once i'd received my acceptances (and yes, my rejections as well) were a sort of push and pull of considerations. do i go where my boyfriend is? do i stay where i'm most familiar? do i go to the cheapest school? do i go to the best school? i ended up with a decision based on a combination of factors and chose the school that was both closest to N. and where i had the best financial package (though it wasn't the cheapest option).
choosing a law school was a lot harder than i expected it to be.
that brings me to where i am now: choosing where and when to apply for graduate school. if i'm completely honest, i sort of feel like the blind leading the blind here, but i'm taking the lessons i've learned and am trying to apply them here. i've started a three-ring binder to keep track of my school options and information, and i'm planning on looking for those checklists and questionnaires from back in the day to help me create new, more relevant ones for the search this time around.
here are some of the important factors in my search:
choosing a college was one of the easiest decisions i've ever made.
when i was selecting a law school, on the other hand, i think i did so rather blindly. when applying for college, i had no doubt i'd get into the school i wanted to attend; when applying for law school, all i had was doubt, and that played a large role in where i applied. i don't think the doubt was so much about getting in somewhere, but more where that school was going to be. i was in a new relationship and it, along with financial aid concerns, was my deciding factor. those weeks of decision-making once i'd received my acceptances (and yes, my rejections as well) were a sort of push and pull of considerations. do i go where my boyfriend is? do i stay where i'm most familiar? do i go to the cheapest school? do i go to the best school? i ended up with a decision based on a combination of factors and chose the school that was both closest to N. and where i had the best financial package (though it wasn't the cheapest option).
choosing a law school was a lot harder than i expected it to be.
that brings me to where i am now: choosing where and when to apply for graduate school. if i'm completely honest, i sort of feel like the blind leading the blind here, but i'm taking the lessons i've learned and am trying to apply them here. i've started a three-ring binder to keep track of my school options and information, and i'm planning on looking for those checklists and questionnaires from back in the day to help me create new, more relevant ones for the search this time around.
here are some of the important factors in my search:
- when to apply. i've decided to apply for admission for fall 2011 (or around that time for schools on a different calendar). if i don't get in anywhere, i'll work to make myself more competitive, and apply again the following year.
- location, location, location. while i'd like to think that i'd be willing to go anywhere and everywhere based on just the caliber of the school's program (or my whims), that's simply not realistic. i am in a long-term committed relationship, and i need to take that into consideration. however, i also wouldn't mind a change of scenery if it comes down to it. i also have to keep in mind that the area i want to study is a specific geographical location (albeit, a broad one). i think this means i need to stay in and around the pacific rim.
- degrees offered by the school. will i be going for just a Masters, or a combined Masters and PhD program? this factor sort of goes hand in hand with the first factor, and my big question is: how long am i willing to stay in one area? because if that area is not where i'm currently living, what does that mean for my relationship? unfortunately, the school with the great program in my current area is a combined MA/PhD program, but i'm just not sure i want to stay here for another 8-10 years. furthermore, if i choose to go international for graduate school, how will that degree be viewed once i return to the U.S.?
- faculty. all of the programs i'm considering have faculty who are studying and researching the area i'd like to study and research.
- cost. because i honestly can't afford to be all that much more in educational debt.
***********************************************
June 25, 2010
friday feature: eclipse soundtrack
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happy friday, everyone.
on first listen, i guess it was worth the wait. after all, metric is fantastic, sia is -- as always -- amazing, the black keys are awesome (i mean, really, i could listen to "chop and change" on repeat for days) and band of horses is never a bad thing. i'm even sort of digging this cee lo green song and definitely florence + the machine's "heavy in your arms" (her moody vocals at the end are great) , and jacob's theme song is sort of heartbreaking even if you're not a team jacob kind of gal. and, okay, i'll be the first to admit that i'm not really the biggest vampire weekend fan, but i'm giving them a shot. there's also a theme which comes across over the entire album pretty clearly, and i like that.
is this album as good as the "new moon" soundtrack? i don't know...i mean, that album had grizzly bear, thom yorke (who could have single-handedly made that album better than many, many others), editors, the killers, sea wolf and the flaming lips. what wasn't to love? so we'll see. it'll take me a little while to decide if i'm ever going to love this album, and i'd definitely like to be able to fit scenes with songs, but until then, i'm gonna start it over and see how it settles.
happy weekend!
June 24, 2010
dear blogger, i've missed you
so the end of may and the start of june passed by in a blur of stress and tears, and here i am sitting on the other end of all of that and feeling a little worse for wear. i'm trying to take this time in my life philosophically. i'm trying to tell myself that these days will help to build my character, and my frustrations will only make me appreciate the good later on. that, although i may not feel appreciated, and although i may not see the fruits of my labor first-hand, i am helping to make a small difference somewhere. i'm trying to convince myself that this will all be worth it in the end.
i'm not always successful.
but if nothing else, at least this job (and these last 2 months in particular) have really clarified for me some things that i had remained somewhat on the fence on until recently. those things are that: 1) this is not the sort of job i want or will ever have again. 2) i've been forced to really look into that mysterious future of mine and decide what next steps to take -- namely, to go back to school. and 3) really and truly, the only important thing in life is that you are happy in every way (no small feat, right?). because if you aren't happy in the aspects of your life which you value the most (i.e. your personal life, your professional life, your creative life, etc.), the dissatisfaction and unhappiness festering in that one arena will bleed into all others. then where will you be?
my unhappiness in my professional life has definitely been bleeding over lately to the point where it's taken so much energy to even muster up the desire to pay any attention to the other parts of my life. that's where my blogging suffered. as much as i didn't want it to be, the stress of the day just made blogging turn into another item on this already too long list of things i felt i needed to do, when all i wanted to do was stare off into space for a minute or two. and i also didn't want to fill these posts up with all the crap i'd been going through because, when push comes to shove, those aren't the things i want to remember or want known.
but things are better now. or, at least, they're getting better. i'm learning to put myself first when it comes to my job, even if that means that i need to start looking for another one (i'm sure i will write more about the job search pros and cons as i move forward with that), and i'm also learning to try and leave my job at the office so that i can come home and be a whole person for N. because after dealing with me for the past month, he really has proved himself to be one of the best people i know.
all this is to say: i'm back, blogger. and i've missed you.
i'm not always successful.
but if nothing else, at least this job (and these last 2 months in particular) have really clarified for me some things that i had remained somewhat on the fence on until recently. those things are that: 1) this is not the sort of job i want or will ever have again. 2) i've been forced to really look into that mysterious future of mine and decide what next steps to take -- namely, to go back to school. and 3) really and truly, the only important thing in life is that you are happy in every way (no small feat, right?). because if you aren't happy in the aspects of your life which you value the most (i.e. your personal life, your professional life, your creative life, etc.), the dissatisfaction and unhappiness festering in that one arena will bleed into all others. then where will you be?
my unhappiness in my professional life has definitely been bleeding over lately to the point where it's taken so much energy to even muster up the desire to pay any attention to the other parts of my life. that's where my blogging suffered. as much as i didn't want it to be, the stress of the day just made blogging turn into another item on this already too long list of things i felt i needed to do, when all i wanted to do was stare off into space for a minute or two. and i also didn't want to fill these posts up with all the crap i'd been going through because, when push comes to shove, those aren't the things i want to remember or want known.
but things are better now. or, at least, they're getting better. i'm learning to put myself first when it comes to my job, even if that means that i need to start looking for another one (i'm sure i will write more about the job search pros and cons as i move forward with that), and i'm also learning to try and leave my job at the office so that i can come home and be a whole person for N. because after dealing with me for the past month, he really has proved himself to be one of the best people i know.
all this is to say: i'm back, blogger. and i've missed you.
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