Not Another Empty Promise

I find myself writing posts like this fairly often: posts which list the things I want to start doing or the goals I've thought up for myself.  I write them almost once a month (if not more) but, unfortunately as has been my experience, I rarely seem to follow-through with these grand plans of mine.  As many of you may know by now, this is unlike me.  I generally don't not finish things and, in fact, I'm almost obnoxious in my stubbornness to see things through (case in point: law school).  But for some reason, when it comes to positive changes in my life that will benefit me most of all, I just can't finish.

To be clear, I don't think not wanting to do has ever been my problem.  I think, instead, my problem has generally been a slow decrease in motivation, in inspiration.  I don't often feel inspired (or remain that way for very long), and that's been a struggle I've had for a while now to the point where, when I try to do something or see something through (especially if that something is a creative project), it's felt forced.  And that's the last thing you want to feel when you're trying to create something organic and natural and beautiful.

But things have been a little different in the last couple of weeks, and I've felt inspired in a number of areas of my life.  Lately, people around me have been doing, have been living and having, and it's been wonderful to see and share in.  So wonderful, in fact, that I've realized I want it for myself, you know?  I want to do and live and have, and I want my inspiration, my happiness and satisfaction to be contagious to others as well.  And, most of all, I want these feelings to produce something fulfilling and sustainable.

Now, not all of these things (if any) are novel ideas for me.  As I've said, I write posts like this one a lot.  So instead of saying "here are the things I'm inspired to do," let me just say that these are some of the areas of my life that I'd like to continue to improve upon in a more active (much less passive) sort of way:

Taking control of my health and habits by recommitting to going to the gym (like blogging, my exercise habits were something that also suffered when work hit the fan), by paying more attention to the food I'm eating and, perhaps, beginning to make changes in my diet as well, and by living a more active, outdoor lifestyle (since being outside and away from cities has been one of the biggest stress relievers I've found in the last year or two). 

Seeking out opportunities for both graduate school (see yesterday's post), and other areas of my life that I've recently felt I've been neglecting.  For example, I've officially enrolled in a few community college night classes for the fall just...because (cultural anthropology and archaeology, in case you were wondering).  I've also begun researching the possibility of doing some of the things I highlighted a while ago when I wrote about the road less traveled.  I'm not sure how to work much of that into my current situation, but there's no harm in trying!  And finally, I found a job I'd actually like to apply for!  While this may not really sound like cause of celebration, this is a huge step for me, and it's finally one in the right direction. 

Recommitting to getting out of debt.  You may have noticed that I haven't recently written about blogging through my debt, and the reason is because it's been a real struggle lately to not get into debt (and, if I'm honest, I wasn't on the winning side of that struggle and am now several hundred dollars more in debt than I was a few months ago).

Paying more attention to the under-utilized creative half of my brain.  I'm not sure what this will entail yet because I've been wanting to do so many things lately (write, paint, redesign my blog, take a photography class, redecorate our house, bake), but I also feel like trying to do it all at once will be overwhelming and, in the end, unsuccessful.  So I'm taking a page out of N.'s book and focusing on only one of those things for a while before moving on.  I haven't yet decided what that one thing will be, but I plan on thinking it over and writing more about it in the next day or two.  To help me out with this last point in particular, I've decided to take part in a Creative Challenge, issued by Ashley over at Writing To Reach You.  If you're at all interested in reading about the Challenge or (hopefully!) taking part in it for the month of July, please head over to her blog and check out the details (ball gets rolling this week, so hurry!).  I'll post more about this soon!

What I'm hoping will come out of all of this is, funnily enough, not another blog post.  I don't want to find myself writing the same promises to myself in three months.  Instead, I want to be able to update you all on the progress I've made, on the things I've done, and on the new plans I have.  That, in and of itself, is the challenge I issue to myself: do something great, and follow-through!