the road less traveled

if measured against the lives of many others i knew growing up in my small town, my life would be considered anything but ordinary.  anything but run of the mill and typical.  anything but expected.  that's how i've always wanted to live my life.  i've always wanted to do great things, adventurous things, meaningful things.  things that seem so far away from the girl i was growing up.

so it's no surprise that, when faced with this huge gaping hole in my future plans, i've come back around to that truth: i want to do great, adventurous, meaningful things.  i have some ideas about where to go with this.  nothing set in stone and even less rationally thought out.  but a starting point none-the-less.

i want to go back to school.  i know it's hard to believe since i just came out of three of the worst academic years of my life but, if nothing else, law school helped me to finally realize where i think i've been headed all along.  in light of that, i've been looking at pursuing an advanced degree in either anthropology or ethnic studies.  if i go the anthropology route i'll have to take the GRE's and eventually apply for the PhD program separately.  if i go the ethnic studies route, i won't have to take the GRE's and can go straight into an MA/PhD combined program.  in either case, i'm hoping to apply for admission in the fall of 2011.

both of these programs are as close an area of study as i'm going to find to my undergraduate major (which in a weird way combined them and is really what i'm qualified for), and both will allow me to continue learning about and researching indigenous cultures.  isn't that what i've been working toward all this time?  isn't that what i tried to transform my law school study into?  isn't that what i think of when i think of "what i would have done if i'd never gone to law school"?  yes, to all of the above.  now, do i know where having a PhD will lead me?  no.  it could be teaching, it could be working for a private organization, a museum, a library, or an ngo.  i don't know.

but i do know that i want to do it.  i just need a little time before getting started.

you see, i'm one of those people who never took time off.  i always felt that, if i did, i'd never go back to school.  so i'm hoping to take somewhat of a "gap year" now.  and i have some ideas on how to fill my time:

• [first and foremost] work for a little while so that i can save some money to do it all.
  
• a girl i know (who i've often sadly thought is living the life i've always wanted) did a summer program in which she was hired to be a group leader for a tour company that took a handful of high school students on international cultural adventure trips.  her particular trip was to australia, new zealand and fiji.  this sounds like something i'd love to do, and i've looked up the company and the application process.  i'll be applying to be a group leader next summer.
• when i was a little girl, i was so sure i was going to be an archaeologist one day.  it was all i thought about: digging through the dirt for old artifacts, bones and lost cities.  i obviously haven't gone that route, but that doesn't mean i can't find out what could have been.  there are a bunch of different programs through which people can volunteer to work for a couple of weeks on an archaeological dig in places like israel, turkey, jordan, italy, greece, scotland, etc.  there's usually a fee for volunteering, so i'll need to save some money first, but this is also on the list.
• i want to teach english abroad.  in particular, i've been looking at programs which place you in the northern territories in australia.

and when i'm in school again there are a few things i'd like to do as well.  i'll have to see what kind of schedule the particular program i'm applying for has and if they'd allow me to do them, but here they are just in case:

• apply for an internship with the UN's permanent forum on indigenous issues, based in new york city.
• apply for an internship with the unrepresented nations and peoples organization, based at the hague.
• possibly study abroad in new zealand, australia, and hawaii.  if it seems like new zealand and australia are mentioned a lot, it's because i have a particular interest in researching indigenous issues there (which i am hoping to work into a dissertation topic i've got swimming around in my head).

and in between/during/after all this, i'd like to find some time (like now) to volunteer or intern in other areas i'm interested in:

• with amnesty international
  
• with oxfam
• with americorps
• with a tribal organization
• with a publishing house
• with a magazine

this all may seem really rash to you, but it's honestly not.  being the anally organized person i am, i have a huge binder with print outs and brochures and informational packets on programs and organizations, i've emailed both the academic programs i'm considering applying for as well as the diversity office for graduate student admissions (even though it's 2 years away), and N. and i have already begun discussing it all.  i'm preparing.  i'm even thinking of making spreadsheets.

i feel very rory gilmore-ish right now.

but in all seriousness, what it came down to was this:

1. i wasn't happy with the path my life was on.  
2. so i wrote a list of the things i want to do. 
3. this is me starting to do them.

simple as that.