my music makes my sister want to die

i grew up listening to hawaiian and local music which, while it doesn't have the same sound, has the same overall feel of country music.  they both have the same sort of family values, don't be disrespectful to women and your elders, i'll take my country over your city any day of the week, style.  so naturally, i also grew up listening to country music, thanks to my mother who was going through her CMT phase when i was going through my i-refuse-to-go-to-pre-school phase.  the first songs i remembered learning by heart include garth brooks's "friends in low places," and various songs by kapena, the ka'au crater boys, and robi kahakalau (who still has one of the prettiest voices i've ever heard).  to this day, i'm still a huge fan.

but when i went away to boarding school, my music preferences expanded to make room for teenage rebellion, angst, heartache, and ambition.  of course i went through my obligatory hip-hop schooling, during which i was introduced to the likes of 2pac, biggie, and yes, mark morrison ("return of the mack," anyone?  you know you listened to it too...).  but i found my level ground when i was in the 8th grade, and i began listening to o'ahu's alternative music stations.  there, i met my thirteen year old heart's soulmates.  bush.  live.  green day.  no doubt.  foo fighters.  everclear.  oasis. (i particularly remember falling asleep to "don't look back in anger").  blur.  i could go on and on and on...

and this genre has remained my go-to pretty steadily throughout the years, with the additions of singer-songwriter, folk, some punk along the way, classic rock, 90's rock, and what i like to call chick rock.

and then one day my older sister, A. (who's a fan of reggae, country and mainstream hip-hop), told me i couldn't choose a radio station in her car because all i listened to was, and i quote, "depressing music that makes you want to die."


...?...


i'm sorry, what?  my music makes you want to die?  i admit it, okay, i like emo, but that doesn't mean i'm the type to sit in a dark room, write poetry and cry all night long.  i just like music that makes you calm and contemplative, and yes, maybe a shade melancholy.  it's better than being obsessed with music that makes you horny and/or violent.  but ever since she told me that, i can't help but take a closer look at my music choices every time i purchase a CD, or make a pandora playlist, or put a song on repeat for the third of fourth time.  not that i think anything would be wrong with me even if i did like depressing music, but i think i just like music that makes you feel something at least.  again, other than horny or violent.

anyhow, this all came up because i'm working on creating a fall/winter playlist at the moment, and i just finished going through the first batch of songs to weedle them down.  yes, they are slow.  yes, they tend to evoke a less than uppity mood when listened too.  but just because they don't make you want to get up and dance around half naked like britney spears doesn't mean they're sad songs!  they just have a very fall-y feel to me, that's all.

none of my pink, kelly clarkson, marie digby, taylor swift or lady gaga songs fit the profile.

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