a slave for you

i've been thinking a lot tonight about the way we, as humans and as habit-forming people, are ruled by our bodies.  it's actually something that crosses my mind quite often, simply because of the fact that my boyfriend is completely at the mercy of his body and, because we live and do most things together, that impacts my life almost on a daily basis.

for example, N. must eat breakfast in the morning.  he must.  he cannot under any circumstances miss the first meal of the day or it is a miserable experience being around him.  and i'm not talking about him getting your average, three-year-old type of uncomfortable.  it becomes nearly impossible for him to function and think about other things.  put simply: he's a grouch.  he also has to have exactly 8 hours of sleep.  eight.  no less, no more.  if he doesn't hit that exact amount, he'll more than likely wake up with a headache.

he is a slave to his body.

i, on the other hand, am almost -- almost -- at the exact opposite end of the spectrum.  i can skip breakfast any day of the week and not bat an eye-lash.  i can sleep anywhere from 4 to 14 hours in a day and still function relatively well.  i'll even go so far as to say that instead of my body training me, i'm usually the one exacting ridiculous (and not always healthy) things from it.

when i was in high school, there were many times when i'd use my body to train my brain to do, or not do, something.  i mean, it's fairly easy to punish your skin in order to condition your mind (again, i did say that these weren't my healthier habits), and i definitely did that.  i don't have the physical scars to prove it, thank God, but even now that i'm older and recognize how incredibly dangerous, unhealthy, and...deeper into my psyche the need to do those things is, there are times when my body still hesitates before doing something, or braces for what it thinks will come as a repercussion.  it's a strange thing.  almost like instead of being a slave to my body, my body is a victim to me, you know?

and there's always the usual bad habits and addictions: diet coke, lots and lots of carbs, not exercising, not eating at least 3 meals a day, etc.

i'm currently trying to steer away from what seems to be my predisposition to do what's easy and not healthy, and begin forming new and healthy habits for the new year and for my life.  it's not always easy to truly remain rid of the desire to fall back on what you know and what's worked and what's made you feel better in the short-term, so this will most likely be a struggle i continue to write about as i go along.

are you one of those people who tend to have certain rituals during the day that your body just requires you go through?  like, N.?  or are you more like me, a recovering bad-habit haver who's used the body as a tool rather than a temple?