dream a little dream

i daydream a lot.  like, a lot.  i'm one of those people who would prefer not driving, not because it stresses me out or because i hate traffic (though i am sort of terrified of driving in a general sense anyway), but because it seriously cuts into my daydream time.  that bus ride, that commute, it's the only time of day that i can take a step back from everything and, without any effort whatsoever, come up with storyline after storyline, scenario after scenario.  all i need is some peace and music.

and i bring this up because there's a big difference between this daydream time, when everything comes so fluidly and i can so easily remember why i want to be a writer and why i think i'd be good at it, and the time i set aside to actually sit down in front of my computer and write something (read: creative, fiction) down.  during that time, it's like pulling teeth.  for example, i read a lot of interviews of my favorite authors where they're asked, "how did you become a writer?" or "describe your work day," and many times they'll talk about just sitting down and having the words come to them.  it's work, yes, of course, but still.  they're able to write without an outline, you know?  the characters sort of...well, tell the author what they want to say and do.  the author, at that point, is sort of a conduit, you know? 

um, okay so that's totally not me.  when i sit down to write fiction with nothing jotted down to fill the next few pages with, none of my characters speak to me and the only words that come to mind are: you suck, so don't quit your day job.

[Note: this is not the case for academic writing which i could, unfortunately, spew out of my brain for hours upon hours, lucky you.]

so this daydream time is incredibly important to me.  the only problem is, i'm never prepared for it.  i always have these great ideas where i can envision an hour of dialogue in my head, or the way an entire fictional town looks at sunset, but then as soon as i get back to reality, those visions are gone.

it's gotten to the point where i've even invented a imaginary machine to help me with this dilemma.  it's a headset, not unlike a bluetooth earpiece, that would somehow (and this is why my invention has not yet come to fruition) record my thoughts and transmit them to an open word document.  voila!  i've got an editable story already written down!

unfortunately, my science, engineering and math capabilities, which i assume are necessary to build such a wonderful little device, are sorely lacking.  i've started carting around a good old fashion journal instead.  and while it's everywhere i go these days, i'm still forgetting to use it.  but today i'm turning over a new leaf.  said journal is sitting here, right next to me on my desk, so that as soon as any sort of story or blog idea comes up, i'll be ready.  in fact, i've already written something down in there this morning (on the short bus ride to work)!

i'm hoping to turn this into another one of those healthy habits i've been working on.