whoring it up for halloween

can we just take a minute and discuss the fact that it is nearly impossible for a grown woman to get a decent halloween costume without hooching herself out? am i the only one who's noticed this? am i the only one who's realized that, if you're between the sizes of teen and man, you will probably wind up at your annual halloween party decked out in a bikini top, micro-mini and stilettos?

unless of course you want to show up as a lime wedge. or a bowling pin.

needless to say i'm getting a little frustrated with the whole thing. i don't want to be adventure annie, or a dirty martini, or a mile high flight captain. and i definitely don't want to be some idiot's idea of a seductive squaw indian princess either (and not just because it's not pc). i just want to find a costume that will make me look cute without making me look like a hooker. is that to much to ask?

and, to be fair, let me just say that i don't even dislike all sexy costumes. in fact, i really wish i could wear some of them. these, for example:

sexy finding nemo, sexy jem (which is AMAZING), sexy sherlock and sexy willy wonka. love 'em. would never wear 'em, but love 'em just the same. and i know halloween is supposed to (in our commercialized world) be this one night where you can do anything and everything and sort of not be held accountable for it (as far as your wardrobe goes), but come on people! no matter how awesome your precision sculpted bod may be (and mine is definitely not), there are just some things that modesty won't allow. or so i say right now.

BUT, then there are those costumes that, no matter if i were victoria's secrets' number one angel, i'd never wear short of being completely trashed and in a room full of blind people. case in point? princess leia in the slave outfit. also known as "every man's fantasy":

and it's a pity because N. is the biggest star wars nerd i know.

so it's not that i hate sexy costumes. obviously, i don't. obviously, it would be nice if i could wear them, because apparently, sexy costumes are the only ones a grown woman is going to find these days.

hence my frustration.

with all that said, i've been on a mission to find a good, cute, sexy-but-not-whorish costume. some ideas i've got for what i want to be include a ladybug, a bee or a flower since N. is once again going to don his fat, furry bee costume which made him such a hit last year, and has requested that i at least try to find something that matches. i'm not committed to any of them just yet, and have yet to even find a flower costume. but here's what i've found so far:

the ladybug is obviously a teen costume which i opted for instead of the ultra revealing adult ladybug costumes. the bumble bee is also super cute. neither of them are overly skanky, and i'd be comfortable hanging out in them for a night, i think.

and then there's wanda the wizard. i've wanted this harry potter knock off costume since last year so it's a pretty big contender, particularly if some friends of mine end up having the hogwarts halloween party they've been talking about. now, i know it looks like it could be somewhat of a scandalous pick, but like the ladybug and the bumble bee costumes, i'd definitely wear leggings under this one.

then, of course, there's the obligatory female death eater costume. i can't explain it, but i just couldn't get past the idea of being bellatrix lestrange for a night! again, this is a big possibility if the hogwarts party happens, maybe not so much if it doesn't.

the next two costumes are just here to give me a chance to wear a pretty dress and, quite possibly, my first ever wig. after all, you can't be a greek goddess or cleopatra without a wig, can you?

and finally, there is spongebob! i love it. there's nothing else to say, i love absolutely everything about this costume!

unfortunately, however, i also have to face the very real fact that i just don't have a lot of money right now, and costumes (for some God awful reason) are hideously expensive! SO, i have a back up plan! (really, did you think i wouldn't?). i don't have a picture or anything because it's sort of homemade, but it's pretty simple. i'm going to take one of my graduation gowns (probably the law school one since it has the cool velvet on the sleeves), raise the hemline a little, get myself a yellow graduation sash, put one of my tassles on the cap i saved, and voila! i'm a graduate! it isn't the most creative costume ever, but i still think it's pretty clever! and it's cheap!

finally, though i don't think he'll actually be partaking in the halloween festivities, and i definitely know he wouldn't appreciate it if he were, i couldn't help but look for a costume for our pooch. lo and behold, some of the world's cutest costumes ever:

notice the unhappy looks on their faces. but still, why would you not dress your dog up as a giraffe?!

so, do you have any idea what you're going to be for halloween? will it be store-bought or handmade? and would you mind if i copied you? :)