there's a certain time of the year that N. and i like to call "murderer's row." it includes the following traditionally gift-giving days: christmas (dec. 25), our anniversary (mid-jan.), valentine's day (feb. 14), and our birthday (beginning of march -- yes, we share the same birthday). this year, because of the state of our finances and our new outlook on money, we've decided that christmas was really the only day we'd exchange store-bought gifts.
overall, this was working out fairly well. we did something really home-made and sweet for our anniversary, and have been budgeted within an inch of our lives this month so we haven't really been spending any money at all lately. but then this weekend happened, and the fact that we couldn't spend anything really began getting to me.
now, i'm a huge fan of holidays. big or small, i love going all out for them. prior to meeting N., when i didn't have a valentine, i always tried to do something special on february 14th, whether it was getting my hair done, planning a dinner with friends, whatever. it usually always required money. and this year, aside from the fact that i haven't gotten my hair done in nearly a year, not being able to think of something special to do with N. that wouldn't cost us any money was just depressing.
added to that, my older sister called me sunday morning from the iphone her husband got her, sitting in the new car her husband got her, while she was just returning from the spa day her husband got her, to tell me what an awesome valentine's she was having. when she asked what N. and i were doing to celebrate, i told her: we're going to run errands, go grocery shopping, and watch more of the olympic winter games on tv. why? because it won't cost us any money.
and i know there are things to do that don't require money. in fact, N. ended up making our valentine's day dinner really special for us just so that the day didn't feel like every other day. but i just wanted to share with you all the fact that this journey of ours, from being overrun by debt to hopefully being debt-free, isn't as easy and wonderful as i may sometimes make it seem. there are somedays, like sunday, when i feel angry that i got myself into this situation, when i wish to my core that i could buy something for N. that he's really been wanting, when i get frustrated with him after i find out he tried to get us reservations for a restaurant we in no way could have afforded (and then i feel terrible, because it's such a sweet thought).
this isn't fun, and it definitely comes with its fair share of difficulty. lifestyle changes usually do, i guess.
but sunday is over, and we came through it without breaking our budget. while that may seem like a small accomplishment as it was only one more day, when you're doing something hard like this, you have to really appreciate every single accomplishment you make, no matter the size.
it's important to just take things one day at a time.
February 16, 2010
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it's the difficult points in your relationship that make your marriage stronger; they test you, and if you come out on top, you're much stronger for it. and who wants a new car or phone for valentine's day? that doesn't seem really romantic. we were/are on a tight budget as well, so i cooked hubby a lobster pot pie and chocolate bread pudding and we spent the night with each other, by ourselves, in our own home. and we were perfectly happy!
sidenote- i highly recommend gifts.com (i LIVE by this website); they make hand-picked gift suggestions. you can narrow search results by recipient (there's even a personality profiler for those of us who are absolutely cluless), occasion, and price (hello can we say recession...). they really do have great, creative, unique, and inexpensive things on the site. hope this helps you as much as it has really helped me throughout the year.
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